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Is the Super Bowl Halftime Show Old and Tired?

Coldplay at the superbowl

Coldplay

The Super Bowl Halftime Show

The halftime gig at the biggest sporting event nationally and maybe even the world is a big deal. Only the top acts have access to this rarified booking making it more of a popularity event like crowning the homecoming King and Queen on the homecoming court at the homecoming dance right before the homecoming game. That these megastars get top billing and promoted in tune with the event is not surprising. It’s America’s game and it’s America entertainment, just like we are used to seeing it, on a five-mile high Jumbotron, flashing lights, screaming fans and a shit-ton of hoopla. Actually, more like a fuck-ton of hoopla, they pour so much hoopla on that bad boy imma drown in that shit.

The fact that these shows are highly structured and intricately staged, clean and thoroughly homogenized and served to the lowest common denominator is not unforeseen. That’s just what we need to blast out to grandma and little Johnny, nothing shocking or challenging to upset the kids or old people.

And that they add copious amounts of backing tracks, enough vocal sweetener to give you diabetes and mostly lip sync that bitch is not unexpected either. It’s all part of the smoke and mirrors of the Big Entertainment Machine.

It’s a modern and updated version of Dick Clark’s American Bandstand, clean and wholesome, like a bowl of vanilla ice cream. Everybody likes vanilla right?

That’s not to say that it’s not well executed. It’s straight up badass in its ability to pull off the delivery. You’ve got Beyoncé busting moves with a gang of dancers; Bruno Mars channeling MC Hammer, and a relaxed and smiling Chris Martin of Coldplay who makes performing to millions of viewers look easy. And that’s not counting Lady Gaga nailing the opener.

It’s all part of the show and like the game, what a show it is. I can’t wait until next year when they get Snoop Dogg to do the toned down and spiffed up elevator version of “Gangsters Paradise”